Nat Speaks.

My cute little friend, KANA!

2011-05-18T09:44:00.008+08:00

Currently, I'm going to be spending my ENTIRE SUMMER (yeah you heard it, my entire summer) building a float with an awesome team of people.

I'll be doing admin work, and it may get a little monotonous calling/emailing people and begging them to sponsor us, so I decided to whip out my cute little friend.

My soft toy KANA! (In case you haven't seen it).

Its chinese name is Xiao Bai (小白). (But it'll rather go by the name Kana!)

I'll be going to Thailand from today till 25 May, so don't miss me too much yeah!

Meanwhile, here are pictures of Kana camwhoring for your entertainment (:

Cya guys!

Bintan with Baby!

2011-05-10T22:36:00.001+08:00

WOW. It's been a whole 3 months!

Anyway, will be posting up pictures from Bintan soon! Stay tuned!

XOXO.

2011-02-25T00:47:00.003+08:00

Hi world,

I know I haven't been posting in a real long while.
I don't know what I've been feeling recently so.... yeah.

But I guess there're always some events which one will want to take down so that when they look back and reminisce, they'll laugh at the happy moments they had or feel grateful for the situation they are in right now because of the bad times they have endured.

There is one thing, however despite of all the shit I've been feeling, I would want to remember during these past few months of my life.
That is CAW (Catholic Awareness Week) that is organised by NUS CSS.
My first step to feeling more involved in community. My first step to get out of the depression.
I'd like to thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful co-head - Matthias.

I'd like to thank God for all the chances he has given me to make new friends in NUS.
I'd like to thank God for everything he has given me - especially life.

Jesus loves us all.

2010-12-24T00:28:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas everybody!

Well, not too merry for me.
Chased out, nomadic, no where to sleep all the time.
Sigh.

Jesus, I know you love me.
Please be with me. Please be near me.
Amen.

2010-11-25T15:27:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since I updated this space.

Uni has been sucky but friends like Shaun, Syakinah and Muhainah makes it all better.

I've not been very involved in Hall life, but I sure do hope I will be more involved soon. I'm hoping I can get into the Orientation Committee. That'll secure me a place in Hall next year hopefully.

Sigh, I've ran out of things to say.

Maybe all I can say now is God be with me.

2010-10-29T02:35:00.001+08:00

I feel so alone. ):

I am depressed. ):

I want to die. ):

I LOVE MY MAC. I LOVE SHAUN MORE.

2010-09-23T17:02:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 6 MONTHS.

2010-09-02T09:34:00.002+08:00

Dear Shaun,

It has been an awesome time with you in the last 6 months.
I really hope that you and I will continue to grow in love.

I love you.

God Please bless us.

2010-08-03T22:31:00.002+08:00

I've been on this page for the last 3 hours, it's 130am now. I don't know what to write.

I guess all I can say is that I'm scared of school.
How I'm going to cope.

But. I will make it.
I know I will.

Jesus be my guide.

Thanks Shaun

2010-07-16T11:21:00.002+08:00

Hello world.

I know I haven't been posting much but honestly I don't know what to write about anymore.
Some days I feel like writing about how sucky the weather is. Some days I feel like writing about how happy/mad/sad I am about something.
But that wouldn't interest me, neither would it interest you.

Today I want to write about how awesome Shaun has been and how he has really changed the way I see things.

In the past, I guess I was simply living and waiting for death to come, I never really thought of accomplishing much in the time I was given on earth.
Now, I comtemplate death even more - but wait, I thought you changed? - but I start living when I am dying.
Thanks to Shaun, for helping me see that there IS a point in life. That one individual can make such a difference in others' lives.

Dear Shaun,

You saved me,
Like a knight in shining armour would save a damsel in distress.
You opened my heart to the idea that love is for everyone, me too.
You helped me see that everyone was worth loving, me too.
You made me believe that people do change, because we did.

Thank you for being a best friend/ boyfriend that I can always rely on.
You are ever so patient.

Love,
N

Haha, Nat's so cheesy. Nat's in love. Nat's so lovey-dovey.
Yea! Because hell-yea she is.

2010-06-04T01:55:00.002+08:00

It feels great having lost 10kgs in the last 8 months. But my mom still thinks I'm fat.
I wonder if the world thinks that way too.

I am honestly happy with myself. Why is she tainting that happy image I have of myself?

I AM HAPPY WITH THE WAY I LOOK.
GOT THAT?

Oral Sex

2010-05-18T17:25:00.002+08:00

THIS IS HILARIOUS!

18 Long Weeks

2010-05-16T00:43:00.003+08:00

So, it's the end of my stay in Sembawang Sec. No more waking up at 5am every morning, no more long train rides where I have tolerate stinky people, no more long staff meetings and no more screaming at kids for low socks or not doing their work.

However, this is an experience not to be forgotten, I have grown so much more tolerant and patient, I have learnt to work with many differnt types of colleagues. Also, I have met amazing friends like Deb, Wen Kang, Ivan and Ji Xian.
Not only that, I too have met the most amazing and beautiful person in my life. Yeah Shaun, that's you if you are reading this.

Do I still want to teach after this? Yes, I sure as hell want to.

2010-05-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

Honestly, I just want to leave.

It's the end of my 6 day weekend.

2010-05-04T22:32:00.004+08:00

A follow up from my last post; I managed to read a little of what Shaun went through in OCS. It really is quite shitty I must say =S
Oh, the joy of being a girl.

Anyway, I had an epiphany exactly one week ago, or rather I showed a greater understanding and gratefulness towards the male species. Coming from a strong feminist like me, it means quite a bit.

Watching Ji Xian and Ivan get the students in order, there was a sense of male control over the whole situation. Ahh, maybe because I was just tired to do it and they seemed so in control.
It was a strange feel-good feeling though.

It's something only National Service can do to make a boy a man. People really do change when they graduate from NS, I feel.

It's been an awesome 6 day weekend. From hanging with Shaun to clubbing @ PLAY to DVD Marathoning to having medical checkups.
It's back to school tomorrow and it's 15 more school days before I'm done! I simply cannot wait.
Off to Redang Island for a getaway from 26 - 28 May, and I'm hoping that the school will allow me to end my contract on the 25th of May. *crosses fingers*

I'm starting to like this photo because my hair is longer and I don't look fatter than my beau.
Okay, I'm off.
Happy May everybody! I'm really looking forward to the end of the month. I don't want to go back to Sembawang EVERY SINGLE DAMN WEEKDAY. I hate travelling.

MOE Teaching Scholarship

2010-04-22T22:20:00.002+08:00

Guess what came in the mail this morning??? YEAH!

My scholarship offer, and I'm pretty psyched about it. Scholarships don't come by easily.
Fully paid-for tuition fees, full reimbursement of Hostel stay, sponsored exchange programmes, book allowance + annual allowance.
What more, I get to major in Chemistry- something I have wanted my whole life. I'll have to minor in English, but I hope that won't be a huge problem for me next time.

Thank you Jesus, and help me as I go into uni and bless Shaun + me.

R.I.P. PDL

2010-04-21T07:36:00.001+08:00

I lost my Provisional Driving License on the morning of my Traffic Police Test so I cannot sit for my practical test. It'll be another 2 months before I get my license. Life sucks. I know. I can't stand it. I just got to move on.

iPad Printing Solved

2010-04-15T20:38:00.001+08:00

Mid-April Update

2010-04-15T19:05:00.003+08:00

I rarely blog, so much so that I doubt there's many people reading this space anymore.

Anyhow, I'm still going to blog old-school style. I'm going to use words - to record down the little segments of my life that I can remember, before I turn 60 and forget everything that meant something to me.

Term 2's been a pretty tiring term for me. Week 4's picking up pace now and week 5 and 6 are revision weeks. It's quite scary since I have to prepare 3 classes for the mid-years single handedly. What if I didn't prepare them enough? =O
I'll just try my best.

Expectations are getting a little high in work, but I guess that's normal - especially when one is in the civil service. I shall not worry/stress too much lest more pimples surface and aggravate the already stressful situation I am in.

My scholarship interview went superbly well. Distinction interview, I must say. The MOE Psychometric Test on the other hand was very mind exhausting. I'll just pray for the best.
I'd probably know the results by the end of this month.

So far, NUS hasn't contacted me regarding my place in NUS Faculty of Science. Why, oh why? I'm a little worried and stressed considering many of my friends have already been offered their places. So much for placing all my eggs in one basket. Silly me for not applying to SMU and NTU as well.

New colleagues, new friends. Ji Xian, Ivan and Thiliban. It feels a little awkward how I'm the only girl (other than Deb) around. I've got to get used to all that army talk and I need to grow more tolerant towards my friends when they talk about army experiences although it really bores me at times.

Talking about army talk. I hope to ask Shaun some time soon to tell me more about his army experience. I'll catch him on a good day so I'll get the best and juiciest stories. =D

My brother's settling down in CJC now, and I'm so excited for him. He studies late into the night, and he's consistent in his work. I hope he reaches greater heights than he thinks he can because I'm sure with the hard work he's putting in, he'll do well not just academically but in growing as a person as well.

God's been good to me for giving me chances to make changes in people's lives.
God's been good to me for giving me the very breath I breathe.
God's been good to me for giving me Shaun.
God's been good to me for giving me friends like Tabitha, Joy, Gwen and Heidi who care.
Sometimes I feel so unworthy of all that's given to me.

2010-03-29T18:26:00.002+08:00

Yeah. It's been an awesome month.
Lovelovelove. It's a decision more than a feeling.

Jesus, watch over us.
Amen.

2010-03-14T10:13:00.001+08:00

I'll post more once I'm through with this shit.

For now. Dear God, please be with us.

2010-03-02T23:17:00.001+08:00

Honestly, I wish my classroom were smaller so I don't need to raise my voice so much.
I hate it when I have to scold my students. =/ Hate.it.so.much.
I hate it because I know I can't speak very very very very loudly.

I wish I could have a nice lesson without having to clear all the stupid peer marking.
I wish I could show them relevant English videos and make them laugh.
I wish for many things.

I cannot wait for term 1 to be over.
Term 2 would be a lot more fun.

2010-03-01T00:16:00.001+08:00

Dear Shaun,

I love you.

Egg-beater.

2010-02-19T19:16:00.001+08:00

Here's a joke. Since it's TGIF.

So there were two eggs seated on a kitchen counter - Egg A & Egg B.
They both saw an egg beater not too far away so and Egg A didn't know what it was.
Egg A: Hey! What's that?
Egg B: Beats me!

HAHAHA.

February Update

2010-02-16T10:41:00.004+08:00

It's been a while since I wrote in here, and it seems like I'm going to update it once this month only.

February, the shortest month. Yet the sweetest.
CNY + Vday (:

Thanks Shaun for making it so sweet. Honestly, I hope things work out.

By the way, this bike is as good as mine!

Yamaha FZ150i (:

2010-01-20T23:31:00.002+08:00

Just thought I might write something in here. Well, it's not really "IN here", but ON a blog. Then again, you write in a diary don't you. =/

Thinking so much about prepositions, grammar rules, sentence structures, spelling, etc...
The English teacher syndrome.

I'm loving my teaching stint in Sembawang. Just hope I don't get into trouble or anything.

Tattoos For Consideration

2010-01-07T21:09:00.004+08:00

I've been thinking of getting inked for a pretty long time.
A snake has been on my mind for a real long time, but a Catholic with a snake on her body? Maybe not, I'll get stoned. Just can't find something that calls out to me.

Anyway, I came across this pretty cool tattoo.

The birds represent 1’s. The spaces represent 0’s.

The arrangement of birds on the wires (with the flying bird) is:
01001101 01001111
01010110 01000101

Which means MOVE in binary.

If the flying bird flies away, it changes to:
01001100 01001111
01010110 01000101

Which translates to LOVE.

P.S. I might actually like my job @ Sembawang Sec.

Teachers there are really friendly as well.

The Best 18th Birthday Present EVER.

2009-12-22T22:46:00.003+08:00

I came home from a LONGGG day of tuition and saw a nicely wrapped present on my table.

Excited, I opened it and I screamed at the sight of this!
Adam Lambert's "For Your Entertainment"!

I was so happy, I just had to kiss it! (:

Thank you GLEN.
I love you so much! MUACKS.

2009-12-22T14:54:00.000+08:00

It's been way too long.

Oscar Wilde once said "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

That's pretty much what I've been thinking about the past few days.
And, another thing on my mind. My results!
I.Wna.Get.Into.Med.School.Please.God.

2009-11-11T22:39:00.002+08:00

I'm so freaking scared to wake up each morning knowing that I am going into the exam hall and compete ever so silently with all the ~~fucking~~smart people from RJ, HCI, NJ, VJ.

"You may begin."
I freeze in fear.
Should I say one more prayer?
Should I go to the toilet now to calm down.
Every paper, I feel like running away.

I'm not going to be happy on results day.

Man's Desire.

2009-10-29T21:42:00.003+08:00

Why do we desire what we desire?
Do we really believe that possessing that new Ford will make us happier?

Suppose a new species invaded the Earth, took everyone away and left YOU, yes just you, alone.
You wake up to find that you can walk into candy shops and swim around in candy like Willy Wonka.
You find that you have access to all the alcohol you want. You are THE WORLD'S RICHEST. You are now the richest on Forbes 100 richest.
And suddenly, you don't want it any more.

So what drives us? It's the satisfaction of us being better off than the person next door. It's the knowing that you are more highly paid than your wife's sister's husband - men and their stupid ego. But who cares if we are not as rich as Warren Buffett, wealth is after all earning 100 more dollars than your neighbour.

So are we all full of desire because we are superficial beings?
It's difficult.
Even if we try [not to be superficial] - we are desiring, making an attempt to do something.

So why do we desire what we desire?
I guess only God knows.
Because I sure as hell don't.

2009-10-19T21:46:00.001+08:00

A levels. Coming soon.

Next blog post. Coming soon.

I want it too!

2009-09-21T01:01:00.004+08:00

http://www.wretch.cc/album/album.php?id=angelduck777&book=296

Go to the above link, I can't believe she kissed all those hot men in Paris.
Such a lucky girl.
SUCH A LUCKY GIRL.

Did I mention that I think she's such a lucky girl!

And now the real mugging begins!

2009-09-17T15:37:00.001+08:00

Prelims are OVER.
And my brother is studying way way way harder than I am.

A little promise to myself:
I will not eat another piece of Sushi until I get an A for Chem.

That's all I have to say I guess.

Past Thoughts - But they never pass.

2009-09-05T12:10:00.003+08:00

I was looking through one of my past diary entries. And I was a little surprised.
I guess it's always the case isn't it.

Sometimes, disgust. At how bad(too general a word?: atrocious) our language was at that point of time.
Sometimes, bad memories.
Sometimes, just plain smiles - you've clean forgotten about that happy memory, but you're glad you noted it down. Oh! How memories can fail us at times.

Anyway, I was glad to have found this little entry I wrote back in October 2006.

"The last of our human freedom - its to choose our attitude in any circumstance."

Indeed, past thoughts may never pass away. Because they remain with you forever.

The LAME Ones.

2009-08-31T19:00:00.000+08:00

Ever realised that an anagram for MALE is LAME?
Yes, the male species is lame - spineless.

I have never felt a hate so strong for a group of people.
They make my blood boil.

Seriously.
Who ever gave them the right to have their egos and pride to be the centre of every damn person's life?
Maybe they should start taking a back seat.
Women can sometimes do without males.

2009-08-25T16:13:00.001+08:00

The next time I cut my hair, I'm making sure I'm at least 5 kgs lighter.

2009-08-17T23:18:00.001+08:00

Vanessa Hui. I really miss you.
Please hurry, come back.

Pseudo joy?

2009-08-17T01:42:00.000+08:00

I wonder how you feel.
Same as how I feel?

Race.

2009-08-10T01:18:00.004+08:00

Amidst the noise, the laughter and the screams of joy when a football goal is scored. I studied at Ridout Tea Garden, and took notice of that extremely cute couple and kid that sat at the corner of the vicinity. While I was looking at them, a sense of awe and envy raced through me. Envy? Yeah. The couple - ever so happy - was a Chinese-Indian one.
I secretly wish I were the kid.

~~On second thought, no.~~

The Crosses We Bear.

2009-08-02T18:29:00.003+08:00

I looked at mom, and saw how weak she was.
But too scared was I to stretch out a hand to offer her comfort or support.
What exactly was stopping me, a fear or embarrassment? It sounds insane to be embarrassed in front of a person you have puked on, cried on, fed off, slept on and hugged to sleep even when you look like shit.

I have learnt, through the many years of torn relationships and ditching, that ultimately you walk this world alone. But that calls no need for a surge of sadness to flow. Because everyone goes through the same thing; that - common emptiness is something that fosters a bond among all us all.

Everyone dies.
Some have parents who die young. Some have parents who live till they are a ripe old age.
I guess it's a matter of time when mine will go; I'm just praying it ain't too soon.

The crosses we bear are all different and unique. I guess no one will ever understand them.
But why would we need someone to understand them? To feed our insecurity?

We live alone, and the greatest testimony of faith is when we carry them,
without complaint and without grudge.
What a beautiful depiction of the human spirit.
Because it is through suffering that the strength of the human spirit is resonated.

Happy. Or just conscious?

2009-07-30T20:53:00.003+08:00

I've been FEELING quite happy these past few days.
So much has happened: stepping down from council.

"Hello Nat! It's just ONE thing! That ain't so much."
You have no idea.

Let's now refer to the first statement I wrote. You might have bothered to notice I capitalised the word "feeling".
Not for the purpose of conveying any sort of negative cynical connotation where I am doubting my own emotions. It's more of a mental note - to remind myself to talk about "feeling happiness".

Had a GP lecture on happiness about three weeks ago, and it got me thinking (just a little).
Why am I feeling happy? Pleasure? Satisfaction from something? Absence of displeasure?

Let's just say I'm feeling happy because I feel pleasure, why don't we create a drug. Let's spam pharmacies with happy-hormone drugs - a pill does it all.
The idea not so attractive or appealing? Maybe so.
I guess working towards a certain goal to attain that state of happiness is the actual happiness itself.

It's so strange how I derive happiness from my struggles.

Yeah. So I'm struggling. Very much, I'm trying.
But in my struggling, I am happy.

Man-friends.

2009-07-09T20:42:00.002+08:00

I VERY rarely write about people on this blog. But today I am going to.

Many people getting attached. And over the past two weeks, two of my great friends finally found happiness in the form of a man-friend (boy friend sounds retarded because the impression of boy is boy = child).

Congrats BBF, Amirah!
You've finally settled down. Let's hope this all works out.
I'm here to run to, so if anything. I'm just next door.
Love.

And to Megan!
Bet you didn't see it coming. But love the way you two look together.
I really really do. =D

This is such a strange post.

2009-07-06T23:01:00.003+08:00

Things on my mind right now.

1. Internal Formation
2. Econs Symposium
3. NYAA Journal

Thank goodness it'll be all done by this weekend.
I can't wait for the weekend already.

After As.
After As.
After As, my blog posts will improve in quality.
I can feel it.

BY THE WAY. TRANSFORMERS WAS GREAT.
I know many people have said this, but I'm going to say it anyway.
MEGAN FOX WAS HOTTTTTTTTT.

Econs Econs Econs.

2009-06-29T23:22:00.007+08:00

If there was an image that could depict how I look like right now, it'll be this.

I LOVE ECONS - much more than I love all my other subjects combined.

I hope it'll love me back.

I see straight S-s and U-s coming my way.

Combined with this fever I'm having now, it doesn't look too good.

Oh shit,

I hope it's not H1N1.

Somehow, I wouldn't mind being retained in J2.

Another year in CJC.

Here goes my chance of being an Econs student in NUS.

~~Who wants a failure, right?~~

By the way, Transformers 2 on thurs!!!!!!

2009-06-22T00:39:00.002+08:00

Okay, sorry for the lack of updates.

But what I've been basically up to is study, sleep, and eat.

A typical day goes like this.

7am: Wake up + Shower + Travel to school

8am: Reach school + Eat breakfast

830am: Go into the library and start studying

1230pm: Lunch

115pm: Go back into library and study somemore

5pm: Library closes so I am forced to stop studying + Slack around school

7pm: Reach home

8pm: Go down to void deck to study with bestfriend

10pm: Finish studying with bestfriend

OH WELL.

On a side note,

I finally managed to go shopping today!

I bought a top and a skirt. Can't wait to wear them.

And and and, I'm having hotcakes for breakfast later! Yum.

7 days to exams. Freaking out, MAJORLY.

The people in my life for the past two weeks.

2009-06-13T23:59:00.003+08:00

Batam took up first week of my holidays.

LTC and Elects' Camp took up the second week of my holidays.

That leaves me (mathematically) 2 weeks to study for my Mid Year examinations.

I'm so not going to make it.

That aside.

Batam

It was AWESOME!

Having met so many new people from SVDP.

Yong Ren, Yee Gin, May, Joan, Melodie and Clare.

And forging even tighter bonds with those whom I already knew.

Cheryl, Capri, Michael, Justin.

And just hanging out with those whom I can trust my life with.

Michelle, Julian, Hansel, Germs.

If there's one thing I take back from Batam this time, it's not going to be "appreciate what we already have and don't ask for more".

It's going to be this: Don't deprive people of hope, sometimes it's the only thing they have left.

Pictures are up on facebook. And I'm going to post some here.

Hopefully in my next post.

LTC

LTC, what can I say about this.

Being a facilitator at LTC rather than a participant gives you a whole different perspective towards the activities.

Mr Li and Mr Leong has definitely taught me something, integrity.

Francis taught me how quiet is sometimes good. We get to understand people much more than we can when we talk.

Thank you Fratello, for teaching me something I won't forget in a long time.

"When you're down, the only way is up."

Council planning day

I guess it was a fantastic day for the 35th Student Council.

The new ExCo is out. And congrats to Amanda, for being the first girl president in a really long time. Be a powerful young lady advocating change and growth for the college all right!

But what are the chances of her reading this.

Congrats to the other three VPs. Aik Seng, Zack and Kev.

May you achieve the goals you have initially set out to do, and never give up.

And now with the new ExCo out, I feel that my term is really coming to an end.
I know I shouldn't regret, but I feel that I could have done better.

But thank you my HODs Mich and Ryan, who have never failed in your support and

CA, Joy, Nat Wee, Trini, Jess, Xav, Tian, Charm, Bel, Andre and Gary for teaching me how to be a better leader.

I know I've been really bad at handling my emotions, but with your support I did it (although I did crack sometimes).

I know I've never been a really good listener, but with your constant suggestions and feedback, I did it.

Thank you my dear 34th CA, for you have given me a gift no one else could have given me. And I will never forget it for the rest of my life.

Prata daze.

2009-06-07T17:34:00.004+08:00

I LOVE CHOCOLATE PRATA, because it tastes so damn good
= D

And I learnt that if you take a taxi at night, it's wise to remember the name of the driver in case anything happens. Hmm.

2009-05-29T22:55:00.002+08:00

OMG.

If you've never lived through a war, I say you're lame.
I live through one everyday.

I hate what my life comprises.

I'm going to change it. Now.

New Personal Best - 2.4km run.

2009-05-26T23:51:00.002+08:00

Andy, the ultimate saviour.

Thanks to him, I didn't give up for my 2.4km challenge.

I managed to shave another 80 seconds off my previous Personal Best.

I'm now in the 13 minute region!

BY END OF THE YEAR, 11 MINUTES!

Yeah.
I think I should switch over to sprints in uni!

Suddenly starting to like running.

Hmm.

The RARE love for the weekends.

2009-05-25T00:31:00.006+08:00

What a terrible school week it has been.

And FOR ONCE, I actually loved the weekend!

I went shopping at Forever21 and Borders!

I got a new pencil case, two new tops and a new cardigan. Awesome stuff (:

I like the first one because of the fact that I can fit into a Small!

I'm offically down from a Large Forever21 to a Medium Forever21!

Hooray!

4X100.

2009-05-18T20:02:00.001+08:00

YAHOO!

WE MADE IT TO TOP 8.

LET'S GO.

AT LEAST A BRONZE.

And I seriously want to go shopping at Forever21!

100 100 100 100 (coz it's 4x100!)

2009-05-17T11:35:00.001+08:00

OMG. I'm running 4x100 relay tmr!

EXCITING LA (:

Non-RainbowColoured Day

2009-05-17T00:22:00.003+08:00

I want to remember today. Because today was a good day. Nothing bad happened, other than the sudden attack of motion sickness.

I woke up late in the morning (so much for nothing bad), and rushed to sch for Econs (my favourite subject =D).
Afterwhich I had McDonalds breakfast with Kriffith, Joyce and Francis, and some others.

Rushed back to sch for GP lecture, and I learned that terrorism is horrible.

Later, I had intended to study for at least 3 hours in school, but I ended up creating a Facebook quiz and I got Sameer, Kriff, Joyce and Gabriel addicted to it. So much for wanting to study.

I posed as a distraction. OH WELL.

Had Starbucks for dinner with bestfriend.

Had waffles for supper.

That's the end of my wonderful, non-colourful day.

(:

2009-05-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

OH MAN.

I wish everyday were like today.

BLOODY FRIEND =/

2009-05-13T23:29:00.003+08:00

I hate it when my monthly best friend visits me.
This time it's a month late.

It's causing me extra PMS, and guess what? I really don't know exactly what I'm feeling right now.

A whirlpool of anger, frustration and annoyance.

I'm feeling frustrated for no reason, I get worked up at the slighest things.

But i'm just holding it all in.

I've exercised but the stupid endorphins aren't helping me.

So it's double effect just because it's a month late, huh?

Yes, I'm angry. And I've not beaten anything/one up yet. PHEW.

So it's going to be YOU vs. ME?

I'm going to win. Because he who angers me, conquers me.

I'm going to keep calm.

I'm going to smile.
I'm going to be happy. Because these are the things I can choose to do.

SIAN LA.

I HATE THIS PMS SHIT.

I sound so lame. I re-read this entire post. But I'm going to post it anyway.

2009-05-13T23:09:00.001+08:00

=(

That's exactly how i look like now.

FUNNY FILM REVIEW

2009-05-12T01:05:00.003+08:00

Click on image to enlarge.

I SWEAR THIS IS DAMN FUNNY.

And I just realised that I need more late nights out.

Just. To. Chill.

They keep me alive. So very alive.

I haven't felt like this in a long time.

Coming home late tonight felt good.

Stupid

2009-05-11T00:52:00.003+08:00

Her voice is so hypnotic, I've listened to this song over

30 times tonight.

Sarah is <3

You're the lover of my soul.

2009-05-11T00:19:00.003+08:00

XD

=D

Emotions, it's not everything.

Life goes on.

There's nothing in this world that I would trade for God.

Lover of my soul.

ZOOOOOOOOOOMG

2009-05-09T14:44:00.002+08:00

I'm freaking out right now, because I think the Intra-School Shot Put finals is two weeks away!

I have been slacking for the past three weeks. Barely any weights. Just light ones.

I need to go to the gym, PRONTO.

I'm off!

The Floor.

2009-05-09T00:38:00.004+08:00

When life takes a sudden turn, and we get thrown off path.

Let us pick ourselves up and move on.

Because failure is not about the falling down, it's about the staying down.

Don't stay down any longer.

Are you still down on the floor?

I SAW him today :D

The Air I Breathe.

2009-05-05T22:53:00.008+08:00

I'm not going into this whole downward spiral of depression right now.

But I was thinking, what would be the one thing I will regret doing/not doing?

Not knowing Christ more deeply.

At the end of the day. No one is going to remember...

How much you have accomplished

What kind of house you lived in

How many marathons you've ran

How many times you've bungee jumped or conquered Mount Everest.

Maybe they might remember, but not for long.

It will be forgotten in time to come.

I really do yearn for Him.

Sometimes, it's so difficult to hear that still small voice.

And now.

Close your eyes. Take 10 deep breaths.

And know that each breath you take is a gift from God.
I tend to forget to thank Him for this gift of life.

LOVE STORY + VIVA LA VIDA

2009-05-05T00:06:00.002+08:00

I LOVE THESE TWO SONGS.

I can't believe there's actually an arrangement that marries the both of them together.

Thank you, this totally made me smile (:

NOOOOOOOOO.

2009-05-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

Many people are probably silently praying that we'll hit Red Alert and school will close.

On the contrary, I don't want school to close.

For the simple reason, it keeps me alive.

2003 - SARS (PSLE)

2009 - H1N1 (A Levels)
This has definitely got to be some practical joke if school really closes.

Missingyou.

On Sadomasochism.

2009-05-02T20:25:00.005+08:00

I have SM tendencies. I really do.

To ease my morning boredom during Legion Retreat, I asked Samuel and Jordan to play with me THE (prounounced "D") most painful game ever - SCISSORS PAPER STONE SLAP. One hand for each person. I played till (the capillaries in my hands burst and) suffered internal bleeding. They're still sore after 10 hours.

~~And I'm always secretly wishing for more piercings.~~

On a lighter note.

I'm spiritually recharged and emotionally ready. I'm ready to face the world.

Some hotdogs and pizza to fill my stomach right now, please?

It's the weekend again.

2009-04-30T20:56:00.002+08:00

And I hate it because it's one extra day this time.

Which means one less day to see your beautiful face.

Beautiful to me, and that's all that matters.

Three days.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I'll spend the next two days with God.

Yeps.

2009-04-28T21:20:00.001+08:00

My heart melts when you smile.

2009-04-22T20:22:00.002+08:00

Wish I were good enough for you, mister.

Life is like that, and no matter what I do.

It'll never be good enough for most.

But I thank God I got to meet you.

SEVENTH.

2009-04-21T14:34:00.003+08:00

7th for Shot Put.
Totally unexpected, and God had a big part to play in this.

Thank you Jasmine and Jacinda and Chris (:
Your encouragement right before the event was really meaningful.

Thank you coach.
For all the time that you spent correcting my technique.
For telling me I'm good when I'm good, and for telling me what it takes to be the best I can be.

And this is it.
Nationals are over for me, and now I'm left with a bittersweet feeling.

Sad that my discus COULD have made it to top 8, if it didn't land outside the sector.

But happy that I tried my best.

Here I come Nat Jnrs and All-comers!

F.O.S.T.E.R. CLUB

2009-04-20T20:22:00.003+08:00

CJC HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST CREATIVE SCHOOL AROUND.

F.O.S.T.E.R. CLUB.
So cool right? NOT.

What the above stands for is:
For Overweight Students To Exercise Regularly

Yeah, let's face it nat. You're never going to get normal weight.
At least I know I'm fit. 29/30 for napha.
(:
YEA I'M BOASTING. Because fat people are cool (or at least I wish to think so).

I'm still =X over the fact I'm in that stupid thingamajig club.

We'll have to take PRIDE (People Rest I Do Exercise) in whatever we do.
No sweet drinks.
And we'll have to complete a marathon 42km over the next five weeks.
That's about 8km a week.

I'll tell you a secret. That's pretty much what I'm doing now.
):
I'm never going to get skinny.
And guys don't like fat girls. They love skinny girls.

I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW...

2009-04-19T15:50:00.003+08:00

THAT EXACTLY FOUR YEARS AGO,
German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was elected Pope Benedict XVI.

I didn't know that too.
Until I read it on an email from Reference.com.

Cyanide and Happiness

2009-04-18T01:49:00.002+08:00

It's 150 am and I'm doing proposals for council.
But I couldn't help myself... I YOUTUBE-D.

Watch this guys. It's hilarious.

[edit]
It's 3am, and I'm going to sleep now.
[/edit]

100 reasons NOT to get an iPhone. This is it!

2009-04-18T01:15:00.002+08:00

Money. The root of all evil and frustration.

2009-04-17T05:44:00.001+08:00

You know I'm quite sick of having to only talk about money all day long.
Screw this.

Today...

2009-04-14T19:08:00.004+08:00

As of today, I've been training for 7 months.
Not a single training missed.
Not a single minute of training unfocused.

Today, I didn't get top 8.
Today, I cried.
Today, I lift my head high and say I fought hard.

Today, I learnt what the love for a sport can do to you.

13 April 2009.

2009-04-13T01:07:00.005+08:00

The day I have been patiently waiting for has arrived.
The start of National School's Track & Field Championships.

Whatever happens on Tuesday morning is going to happen.
Whether I make it or not, I'll leave it to God.
What I can do now I"ll just do.
Sleep with my discus.
Eat with my discus.
Live with my discus.
Even in school.
And that's precisely what I'm going to be doing for the next 24 hours.

Right now, I'm really scared.
Scared shitless to be exact.
I don't know how to deal with this myriad of emotions whirling through my heart/mind/soul right now.
Actually, I'm so scared I feel like puking now.

Dear God.
I normally start thanking you in the beginning of a dialogue like this (aka prayer). It's really tempting to go into my petitions straightaway, but I'm not going to compromise my thanksgiving for my selfish worldly desires.

Thank you, for all the time that you have given me. Thank you for allowing me to train.
Thank you for blessing me with the determination to do my best and hopefully do something for CJC.
Thank you, for giving me hands and feet so that I can throw - something that brings me happiness.
Thank you for giving me a chance to compete.
Thank you for blessing CJC with a coach so that our techniques can be better.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Without you, I don't think my life would have throws and made this enjoyable.

Please help me. I've never felt so scared in my life before. Not even exams.
I know I should be asking you to grant me the serenity to accept whatever that's coming my way, but I want to ask you for that top 5.
A little too selfish and superficial?
No God, I really want it. That'll just make me a little too demanding, yeah?

But God, I'm going to tell you now.
Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.

The most important thing in the Olympic Games
is not to win, but to take part.
Just as the important thing in life
is not the triumph, but the struggle.
The essential thing
is not to have conquered, but to have fought well.

You know something God?
I feel much better now. All that fear was unnecessary.
I know you're always with me. (:

Amen. And it is done.

2009-04-07T22:33:00.001+08:00

A very wise friend just told me,

"Don't let whatever happened ruin what's to come."

Thanks Syam.

2009-04-05T21:47:00.002+08:00

I suddenly think blogspot is lame because I cannot lock any of my posts.

I have never wanted to lock any post before,
and I don't know why I want to do it now.

A million and one things on my plate.

2009-04-05T21:27:00.004+08:00

I'm so restless, I simply feel like training the whole day.
And the thought of having to come home to complete my homework completely sucks.

Okay Nat.
Let's try to be fast and efficient.
Pay 100% attention during class. Don't talk to Aaron, Michael or Bjorn.

I have so much to do/ think about right now.
1. Track & Field
2. Council
3. Homework
4. Work

Wtf am I going to get money with my mom complaining like that.
Seriously, I'm pissed.
I hate the way my life is going. No where.

And Terence just asked me the other day if I were feeling lonely.
Maybe I am.
But God's here to save, eh.

It's so tiring. Trusting this Silent God.
I'm screaming my head off for some help/ divine intervention... And yet life seems the same, unchanged.

AND.
PEOPLE WHO READ BLOGS FOR GOSSIP HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

20 degrees to my left. EVERYDAY.

2009-04-01T19:57:00.004+08:00

I have this weird habit.
Everyday, I sit in front of my table, and I look no where else except one direction...
Yeah, 20 degrees to my left.

I see my phone lying there, lifeless.
And I can't help but look at it hoping that something will happen.
Sometimes I even end up stoning at it. What a waste of time.
Not transformers or anything like that... Just a vibration or something.

Maybe it's just me. Or maybe some others out there has some compulsive obsessive messaging disorder too.

In the course of this whole post, I think I looked at my phone more than 10 times already.
What a distraction.
I need to change.
And I just looked at my phone one more time.

: )

2009-03-30T22:28:00.003+08:00

I'm too lazy to update.

But here's a short update.
I've finally settled down with a crush.
No more retarded eyecandy-ing.
Don't think it'll last long though.

Get well soon, BBF.
Love.

ak ljk;asf afjl. ; A little short update.

2009-03-21T16:04:00.006+08:00

Well, I didn't know what title I should use for this post. So I randomly banged my hands on the keyboard.

It's been way too long since I last posted.

So I'll start from Common Tests.

It was okay. Difficult, but I like challenge.

Watched a few movies on HBO and the cinemas.

Sweeney Todd, Benjamin Button, Finding Forrester.

And I also thought about how globalisation could have just been a nicer name, a facade for colonialism.

I mean, after all... The richer countries do exploit poorer countries and all that rubbish.
So much for trying to acheive income euquality. Doesn't someone always have to be the loser, the poorer one?

Had two competitions as well.

All comers last week, 14th: PB-ED 22.46m.

SprintDynamics today, 21st: PB-ED 24.44m.

Falling short of a few metres to my target of 28m.

Actually I want way more than 28m now.

30m 30m 30m 30m FOR THE WIN!
Pump. Power. Adrenaline.

Well, that was a really short update.

Meanwhile, I'll just be training, training, studying and training somemore.

24 more days to nationals.

Reasons. There's always some behind something.

2009-03-09T22:12:00.005+08:00

Here are some of the reasons why I am looking forward to the holidays.

1. Double training sessions! (0730-1000hrs & 1500-1700hrs)

2. I don't have to do so much paper work.

3. I don't have to study!

4. Track camp.

5. My brother's birthday - Yes Si Yuan, you too!

But, there's always a downside right.

1. I won't get to see my EC.

2. There are no more reasons.

I'll never have to take Mandarin EVER AGAIN.

2009-03-06T22:00:00.002+08:00

I GOT AN E FOR CHINESE!

So much for filling out all the answers with the option 4 for MCQs

Yay (:

I can't believe I passed.

So much for God's Will.

2009-03-01T18:56:00.004+08:00

GOD'S WILL.
These words are so loosely used.

So we kneel in front of a fridge, and there in the depths of the fridge...
Behold!
A plate of Chilli Crab and a plate of Rice.
We pray because we cannot decide what we want to eat.
But we obviously know what we'll all take. So much for God's Will huh.

Don't we all know that God has some masterplan, just waiting to be executed.

People who survive ordeals/operations/cancers.
They all thank God. Saying "Praise God! This truly is divine intervention."
What about the doctors behind the scenes?

When a person dies/suffers from some side effect. They all whip out heaps of money. Waiting in line, to sue the damned doctor who screwed their lives up.
SO WHAT DO WE SAY ABOUT THIS.
Part of God's plan? Or the lack of divine intervention.

~~Incoherent. Unclear.~~
~~What's the point of this post.~~

And no. I've not lost my faith yet.
I'm just surprised at how some people are so indifferent towards the real meaning of being a Christian.
Have we all forgotten how to pray like a child?
Sometimes, we pray for all the things that don't matter.

2009-02-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

Common Tests.
GOODBYE.

Menstruation sucks.

2009-02-26T21:33:00.003+08:00

I think sometimes women forget that they are women. We try to do everything the guys do to. In pursuit of gender equality.
But women remember that they are women. Only when they are struck with the horrors of menstruation. The cramps, and discomfort.

Haha. Well, just random thoughts.

Weighty Issues. Hmm.

2009-02-22T19:49:00.002+08:00

YAY. I'm 167 cm now (:
2 more cm till my desired height.

Anyway, this week was rather draining.
Considering that we had a very draining start.
5 hours of tests on monday.

Thankfully I only have an econs test -which I'm not very prepared for- tomorrow.

Oh, I was reading blog entries from some pro ano communities just now. And I garnered a few thoughts.

It's quite weird how a few decades ago, women my weight were considered beautiful.
If only I were born earlier. Maybe I wouldn't have to worry.

It's quite weird how women with lotus shaped feet - who needed support when walking - were considered beautiful.

It's quite weird how women in victorian ages were considered beautifuly if a man's palm would span her waist. Oh, the torture these women underwent. Crushed ribs and difficulty in breathing.

I think it's time for retro to be in. When will women my weight be considered a social norm again?

Andropause?

2009-02-18T22:15:00.003+08:00

OMG. I came home today, and I saw this piece of paper very obviously photocopied from a book.

It was titled "Menopause".
What the shit right? I don't think I'm of age yet.

I read on, and realised that my father actually made notes on it.
Under the Men's Menopause (aka andropause) section.

I think he's going to inject some testosterone into him or something.
OH WELL. -shrugs-.

End of random post.

The good thing about living near IKEA.

2009-02-15T18:22:00.001+08:00

I AM GOING TO IKEA FOR MEATBALLS NOW!

YAY!
(:

2009-02-15T01:59:00.001+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

I'm just glad my mom is alive.
And my coach is such a nice supportive coach.

CJC ORIENTATION 2009 : FOTIZO (Part 2)

2009-02-08T14:11:00.020+08:00

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

2009-02-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

Haha. I thought this was quite cool!

2009-01-30T23:09:00.001+08:00

Halo (Official Video) HQ
Uploaded by Le-Tour-2Lor

(:
I've been looking for this song since three weeks ago!!!!!

2009-01-29T22:09:00.002+08:00

OMG.

KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO?
(Like 10 million things!!)

1. ORIENTATION
2. BLOOD DONATION.

Okay, that was just two.
But I honestly cannot wait for these two.

Orientation = No study! = Lots of crazy catch up.

Blood donation = Needles = Pleasure

No I'm not crazy. I seriously like needles.

Happy Lunar New Year!

2009-01-26T23:57:00.002+08:00

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

My 18th CNY, and the best so far.
Reunion dinner felt like a reunion dinner.
And visiting finally felt like visiting.
I was acutally wearing new clothes, shoes. Underwear excluded.

Received a total of $188.
Hope it's lucky! (:
As this year, I'll need all the luck I can get.

Oh yes, on a totally random CNY note,
I'm growing fatter every single minute. Bak kwa. Love letters. Peanuts. Pineapple tarts.
~~Where has all the alcohol gone?~~
At least all my mom's friends don't think I'm fat.
Goodbye to my "lose 8kgs" resolution.

Love Matters.

2009-01-21T22:45:00.003+08:00

Love Matters.

Caught the latest movie directed by Jack Neo "Love Matters" at the Gala Premier yesterday at Vivo City.
I was quite excited to watch the show, and it didn't let me down at all.
Themes expressed in the movie related to me, and it wasn't all too melodramatic.

After watching the show, I just realised how fortunate we are to have our family members right in front of us.
We take them for granted, and those small little acts of love by them are soon forgotten.
Only when they are taken away from us, we realise how those small little acts (such as washing the clothes) go such a long way.

Definitely a heartening movie.
A "self-help comedy" should I call it? Singapore version!

Go, watch it with your family.
Wives, bring your husbands along. Let them realise how sex isn't everything.
Husbands, bring your wives along. And tell them that even though it seems as if you don't love them anymore, you still do.
(:

Opens tomorrow. 22 Jan.

omy.sg Love Matters contest

2009-01-18T00:22:00.002+08:00

There's only one reason why I like to visit OMY.SG for all my entertainment news: It's ALWAYS UP TO DATE, and it never lets me down.

A 13th Jan post meant for 12th Jan

2009-01-13T19:36:00.003+08:00

Well, if you read the title of this post. It's quite retarded. Because I cannot think of anything else.

O Level Results were released yesterday.
It was the first day of school too ):

Random thought (sidetrack)
Well, J2 has kicked in. And if I were to get a B for any of my subjects, I have no one to blame but myself.
GP can be excused though. D or E would be quite fine.

Anyway, the main point of this post was to congratulate those who have done well for their Os!

ESPEICALLY TABITHA! You kookoohead. You kept saying you couldn't do it! SEVEN POINTS FOR R5. Haha. Congratulations (:
Jessica, Eve, Michelle and Zhenmin!
And Ulindra, you 6 pointer. =P